Lets admit it we have all done it as parents at one point or another to save our sanity. We have been ruled by fear to give in just to avoid the meltdown. Its easier to buy the 5$ toy at Target then to have to listen to a screaming child the rest of the shopping trip. On occasion buying yourself some sanity isn’t the worst idea but when this is happening on a consistent basis there is an issue.
Parents who parent out of fear are saying yes to just avoid the meltdown and tantrum of their child. You want to watch Utube during dinner, sure. You want me to buy you candy while at the store, sure. You want to not clean up after yourself, no problem I will do it for you. Parents know this isn’t right but the thought of saying no or forcing a child to do a chore seems like so much work at times.
The reality is work must be done to raise successful children. Its normal developmentally for children to push limits and see where the boundaries are. Meltdowns and tantrums are normal (to an extent). A parents role is to set a limit, see the meltdown and still not give in. When parents parent out of fear they quickly say yes at the first sign of push back. Unfortunately, this is teaching the child to keep pushing because soon enough they will win.
Parenting out of fear is not only teaching the child to continue tantrums to get their way but its also stressing out parents who are living in fear of their child acting out. Parents are over stressed trying to walk on eggshells and then become angry about having to live that way.
Does this sound familiar? If you want to brake this pattern go to:
www.kericooperholistictherapy.com and check out the parent strategy program which can help you brake this cycle.